Defensive actions against change…….. Conclusion

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy”.   Prov. 28:13 NIV

In God’s eyes there is nobody in this world who is any better than you, or whom He loves any more than you.  No matter what pain, suffering, or distress you are going through, God knows and He cares.  God is in control.  Trust in Him!

Many people discover early in childhood that a debilitation or “handicap” exempts them from complete responsibility for their actions.   Most are unaware how feeling sorry for oneself fuels self-exemption, because the very nature of self-pity is to blind.   They may even learn to create problems for themselves which cause others to become more tolerant and understanding of their misbehavior.

More of our common defensive actions:

Sickness:   Some people find such solace in the tolerance shown them during an illness that they convince themselves that they are sick most of the time.   Rather than focus on their responsibility as presented by the confronter, they focus on the “hurt” caused by those who demand “too” much of them.   People like this are often consumed with bitterness and fall victim to self-pity and laziness.

Fatigue, hunger, hormones, and irritability:    Many people justify certain behavior when they deem themselves physically exhausted or emotionally distressed.   They feel that their “condition” exempts them from complete responsibility, godliness and they refuse to listen to correction.

Rejection:  Some people, because of social awkwardness, demonstrate a lack of social tact or other offensive behavior, so encounter rejection even from fellow believers.   Such rejection can fuel self-pity, which causes these individuals to exempt themselves from responsibility for their actions.   

Ignoring is a firm, resistant denial of what is being said.    The listener in this case refuses to hear or consider anything contrary to their beliefs or practices.   Either their mind is made up or their heart is so hardened that they cannot even begin to consider what is offered to them.

Acknowledging the validity of what is said will require them to change and they do not want to.   When confronted they will act as if they did not hear what was said.   Subconsciously, they may agree with the confronter, but they will not admit it lest they feel guilt.

Self-pity is feeling sorry for one’s self and excuses one from personal responsibility by concentrating attention on one’s “oppressed” and “victimized” condition.     Those using self-pity consume themselves with the hurt from “unfair” treatment they have received.  

Not uncommonly, they are bitter and unforgiving towards those they hold responsible.  

Self-pity can be a strong factor in denial, guilt projection, and emotional manipulation.    It can also be the motivating factor behind “low self-esteem”.

As I stated at the beginning change is uncomfortable.  Sometimes it’s physically painful, but it is always mentally and emotionally painful, in the form of discipline, sacrifice, uncertainty and fear ……

Most people are scared of the new, unknown and unfamiliar.  They prefer to stay in that womb of comfort.  When the going gets tough; when a little more effort is needed, when things get hard, they always pull back into safety. 

The Bible says God cannot lie and that God will never change.  This means all of the promises in the Bible are true and will always be true.  God wants us to know we don’t have to face the pain and sorrows of this life alone. 

Many will have a hard time believing God’s promises apply to them because they feel those promises of hope must be for somebody else . . . someone who is better, or more righteous in God’s eyes.  

It is the shed blood of Jesus that washes us clean from all sin and once we accept Jesus as our Lord and invite Him into our hearts, we are all considered equal in God’s sight, for Christ’s Spirit then dwells in us, and through Jesus we now have access to the throne of God.

Jesus will lead you step by step, moment by moment, and day by day through this life.  It won’t feel easy and the pain is real, but He will bring a peace that is beyond all understanding.

“He cared for them with a true heart
and led them with skillful hands”.   Psalms 78:72 NLT