Defensive actions against change…….. continued

“But I am not like that; I live with integrity.
So redeem me and show me mercy.”    Psalms 26:11  NLT

Jesus waits for us to ask Him into our lives to help, to strengthen, to comfort, and to heal.  He lovingly wraps His arms around the lonely and the brokenhearted. Jesus will never cast away or turn away any man or woman that willingly comes to Him, regardless of how young or old, or how good or bad.  Any and all who come to Him with a sincere and humbled heart are welcomed with open arms.

More of our common defensive actions:

Intimidation:  When a person explodes into a rage they sometimes can unnerve and distract the confronter.  Their intensely displayed emotion can redirect the attention back to the confronter by challenging their security and confidence.  An unwary confronter, who becomes the target of the listener’s sudden rage, may fear the loss of the listener’s approval, and therefore compromise the exercise of their authority.   A rage may also intimidate those who simply dislike conflict or those who mistakenly think they have pushed the listener to the point of exasperation.   Angry responses can be especially effective when mixed with profanity and accusation.

Patronization:  Because some people hate tension or conflict they become agreeable to everything said by the confronter.   Although they do not believe what they are agreeing to, they are accommodating to appease the confronter, thereby diffusing the tension, and bringing to a close the time of confrontation.   However, they often leave angry and feeling unjustly accused or manipulated.

False humility in the midst of confrontation is used to acknowledge their guilt, but overstate it with the intent of evoking compassion and mercy in the confronter.   Their self depreciation may even cause the confronter to minimize their sin, saying something like, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.   You are not that bad.”

Accusation is employing “guilt projection.”   A person will find fault with his confronters.   If he can get them on the defensive by pointing out their failures he will take the heat off himself.   He may try to make the confronter feel guilty for hurting his feelings, or criticize the confronter.   If they are successful with this action they can get the subject changed and evoke an apology from the confronter.

Flattery is a charm technique used to stroke the confronter’s ego with the intent of getting them more concerned about themselves rather than him.  

Embarrassment:  By making a scene in public may successfully change the focus of a conversation.   This is commonly done with an emotional outburst involving anger, profanity, crying or a raised voice.

Jesus now prepares our place in Heaven where there will be no fear, no worries, no pain, no heartbreak, and no tears.  He will see you through these difficult times. Trust in Him ... and with open arms and tears of joy He will be there to welcome us into His Kingdom . . . It’s God’s Promise!